You may wonder why I have named this post sounding like I was in an accident of some sort but there is a reason why I have called it a “collision”. You see “pre-baby Steph” really thought she knew what to expect in terms of motherhood. She knew it was going to be tough at first but yes I’m going to say it…NOTHING can prepare you for motherhood.
There is no gentle introduction from the midwives saying “here is your baby, now you can tap out at any time or phone a friend”. No. Babies don’t come with a manual but rather a sixth sense knowing when you’re about to eat or poop and decide they need you NOW!
I was one of those pregnant ladies who would roll their eyes when mothers would tell me “you will hang on by the seam of your pants at first” and man were they right! Now I’m not at all saying that I was naïve about the whole thing and that I didn’t love those first few weeks. Giving birth to Little H was the BEST thing that has ever happened to me but nothing astounded me more than the natural instincts and true strength that a woman attains once she becomes a mother. Before I go any further about how fantastic the female population is I’ll go back to the beginning when I first decided I wanted to become a mother.
I had always said I wanted to wait until I was 27 to have a baby.. .then I turned 25 and the ovaries started to hurt soon as I laid eyes on those little potato-shaped headed angels. Maybe it was because my husband Ryan and I had been together for 8 years and married.. makes sense it was the next step? Possibly because my makeup artistry business was booming and I felt a sense of accomplishment like I could tick that off my list. But when I really think about it I just felt something or someone was missing and now that I have Little H I know that was the case.
So we had decided to have a baby! Next minute ovulation tests were purchased and legs were up the wall. Now I assumed it would take me a long time to fall pregnant as my mother had a hard time falling with my brother and I. That definitely wasn’t the case; Little H was conceived first try (Ryan was a little disappointed he couldn’t “try’ more). Of course he took all to credit for it referring his sperm as “bass that swim upstream”.
We found out I was pregnant whilst we were on holidays in Bali which we booked as our last holiday away before I fell pregnant…so much for that! It was our first day there and I had packed a couple of pregnancy tests just in case that “one try” actually worked. I remember the day before I was super tired and felt a little“off “but of course I thought that was due to travelling (or the cheap wine on the plane). I took the test and it came back a very faint positive….I looked at Ryan in shock and his romantic response was “fuck off..” . It took 13 pregnancy tests (3 which were Balinese) to believe we were actually pregnant.
And that was it we were having a baby…
I’ve had to make this story into a few different posts otherwise you will be reading a novel! I hope you’ve enjoyed it so far. Stay tuned!