So it seems I’m part of this club.
I don’t remember signing up for it- but it appears for anyone to join all you need to do is have a kid and you’re automatically accepted and you don’t even have to ask! You don’t receive a t-shirt or a welcome letter but you do receive snarky judgmental comments on your parenting style and every choice you make as a mother! Every action you make is neither right or wrong, however you will be judged for it anyways. This club doesn’t discriminate; it judges ALL types of mums!
From my short time in the “Judgey Mums Club” I have found a list of requisites that in fact label you as a “bad mum” or opens you up to judgement. The list is as follows:
You will be judged if you:
Are a working mum
Stay at home mum
Working from home mum
Mums who go to the gym
Mums who have a social life
Mums who don’t have a social life
Mums who get their nails done
Mums that don’t
Mums that wear makeup
Mums that don’t
Mums who have their kids in daycare
Mums that don’t have their kids at daycare
Mums with one child
Mums with many children
If your kids have a routine
If your kids don’t
If you feed your kids homemade foods
If you feed you kids processed foods
If you breastfeed
If you bottlefeed
If you have your kids in sports clubs
If you don’t have your kids in sports clubs
If you watch the Bachelor
If you don’t watch the Bachelor (ok I think you get my gist)
This is 0.5% of the comprehensive list- safe to say if you had a kid you’re being judged
So far I’ve been in this club for a total of 17 months and have to say I’m not enjoying it in the slightest. It seems no matter what you do as a mum someone won’t approve and label you as “a bad mum”, “a selfish mum” basically any kind of negative adjective ending with the word “mum”. So really it seems that we all must be “bad mums”?
Social media has opened up a whole new platform for judgey mums all over the world to place their opinions on your life. It seems if you talk about how amazing being a mum is all the time you’re not being “real” and if you open up about the hardships of motherhood you’re not “grateful”. I know personally as a blogger and choosing to open up parts (let me emphasize PARTS) of my life on social media I get a lot of judgement- maybe not always through comments on a photo but I do cop some comments for keeping myself fit and healthy and also it seems because I get clumps of acrylic nails stuck on my fingers every 3 weeks I’m a bad mother?
Sounds bizarre doesn’t it?
I never realized getting clumps of acrylic glued onto my nails affected so many people?
Since when did becoming a mum mean I can’t make myself feel good or even feel human anymore.
Is there a middle ground? Why are we making it so hard on one other when all we are just trying to do our best? You see I’m one of those members who I guess is the underdog. I’m one of those mums who doesn’t judge others because I don’t feel the need to comment on others parenting styles and choices because guess what? It’s doesn’t affect me and I honestly don’t give a shit!
Sure some of us may not agree with certain decisions others make but guess what – IT DOESNT AFFECT US SO MOVE ON!
I am someone who believes that you should not judge anyone unless you walk a mile in their shoes..which is impossible so just don’t. I invest my energy into my family and my life and don’t waste it judging others. You see I can’t please every single person in this club (it’s impossible) but I can just do what is best for my child and my family.
So I’m starting a new club it’s called the “YOU club “.
And guess what? There is only one member…YOU.
This is a club where you focus on yourself and your family and that’s it! Pretty simple hey! What if we take all that energy that is used for judging others and invest that in our own lives? What a thought hey! Once we have all mastered this we could even use the energy to support one another and just be positive people!
Heck that’s why it’s called motherHOOD- it should be more like a friendly neighbourhood (and not not the Desperate Hosuewives kind) where we all help one another and rise above our differences in parenting because we all have much better things to invest our time and energy into: our children and ourselves.
So I’m not sorry to say to the “Judgey Mums Club” I formerly discharge myself and officially don’t give a shit about judgements from your members! I am continuing my journey through this crazy thing called motherhood accepting the only opinion from my own club…oh wait its just me. Thank fuck for that!