Holy shit….pretty much sums up last year but not in a bad way. 2016 honestly was the best and most challenging year of my life. The year I became a mother, the year I birthed another human being, the year I truly found out what a poo explosion was.
I had no idea a love so strong and fierce could ever exist until I laid eyes on my daughter…my own little human, my own superhero. When a woman goes through pregnancy and childbirth something inside you changes forever. You no longer put our own wellbeing first, you would honestly die for this little person you met 2 seconds ago and you would go through all the pain 1000000 times just so you could hold them in your arms.
My pregnancy wasn’t exactly smooth sailing but compared to others it was pretty good. Besides the insulin injections it was quite enjoyable. As someone who suffers from anxiety I like being in control and for the first time in my life I wasn’t and it honesty scared the shit out of me. Everyday I was pregnant I was always so terrified of losing Harper (and most days now I still have that anxiety of something bad happening to her). It could have something to do with my brother Adam who was born with down syndrome. I guess I assumed nothing this amazing could ever happen to me.
When I birthed my healthy baby girl I grew a whole new appreciation for the world and the little things. I also learnt a lot about myself. I had parts of me I started to see come out that I had never knew I had. I surprised myself many times with how calm I was in times of immense stress and how strong I was (as all mothers have to be and don’t even realise).
This year was also the year I started to really enjoy my exercise time. I have been training for years but now I see it as therapeutic and my daily “me-time”. I appreciate exercise more now for how it makes me FEEL instead of how it makes me LOOK.
Starting this blog was also a major achievement of mine. Putting myself out there terrified me but it was something I really wanted to do. I was worried what people would think but Ryan made me see how many women I could help and relate to. I know other mothers would agree those long nights of cluster feeding can be made that little bit easier knowing that other mums out there are going through the exact same thing in that very moment.
My appreciation and connection with my husband also grew stronger as I saw him blossom into an incredible father and my support. I fell even MORE in love with him (not to say we didn’t have our moments, obviously with a baby sometimes you’d like to shove your husband into the cot too).
So yes 2016 was really an eye-opener on so many levels, it opened up new perspectives and behaviours in myself I never knew I had. This blog post I decided to reminisce more on the amazing times than the harder times like my problems with breastfeeding, my post birth surgery etc. But hey my new year’s resolutions are to see the good in everything and everyone.
I want to thank all of you for following me along on my journey and supporting Harper and I. I wish you and your families an amazing 2017 and I can’t wait for what this year holds for all of us.
Love Steph & Harper xox